Retrospective

A little more than a year ago I was writing about this.  So, if you are anything like me you are asking yourself- what has happened?  Did the non-twist-off-madness end?  Well sadly the campaign last year failed to yield significant results on the issue of non-twist-offness; nonetheless, I feel progress has been made on the issue.  Let me tell you how:

1. Fall 04:  Shortly after the article is written I win a raffle at the Wickenden Pub on a Thursday night.  Included in the prizes is a Heineken bottle opener, which I cleverly zip tie to the handle of my fridge.  Score one for the good guys.
2. Late Fall 04 (Pre-exams):  I become despondant with law school, question the meaning of my career and of my life.  I blog frequently the pointlessness of work and of school and attack the systemic problems with our education and professional institutions.  I lose sight of the goal of ending non-twist-offs and simply avoid the problem by switching to wine which I can open with a cork screw.  My mom sends me an email telling me to, "Lay off the booze."
3. Christmas 04 (Post-exams):  My despondancy has subsided slightly.  I was forced to worry about school and divert my attention from the other issues like twist-offs for awhile.  Bush won election and I realize issues like tax cuts will probably be more important in coming administration than "real issues" like twist offs.  I write some funny stuff about exams on this weblog.  At Thanksgiving dinner I did not understand the blue laws in Connecticut and forgot to buy beer- male family members castigate me for remainder of holiday, which I am forced to make up for during Christmas break. 
4. Return to School 05:  New year and new classes.  Don't remember much of significance except Matt's B'day party in hear at some point.
5. Ski Weekends:  During this period I become reclusive in respect to Providence and go to Vermont pretty much every weekend where I watch movies, drink magic hat, and ski.  Cast of characters emerge in my life who I haven't seen in a while: Conor, Brendan, James.  Other regulars appear as well on limited occasions:  Russ and new girlfriend Katie,  Vanessa.  I make limited progress on the non-twist-off issue but learn that Sierra Nevada comes in Twist-off, which I view as a positive sign.  During this period I also listen to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintainence  and become interested in the concept of what is quality.  Are twist offs quality?
6. Spring Break 05:  Since I have no money as usual I spend spring break skiing, which is probably what I would want to do even if I did have money.  I read about 3 or 4 books including Hunter S. Thompson's Hell's Angels.  Begin my rise to power at the Docket by writing a bunch of articles.  Also during this period listen to Phish a lot.  My mental health was questionable.  Very little progress made on twist off issue, but extensive field research performed.
7. Matt's Birthday party falls in this next period at some point.  First party at our apartment despite the fact we had lived there for nearly six months or so at that point.  A pretty fun party that involved all the people we know from law school bringing us too much food and booze that allowed us to eat and drink for free for about the next 2 months.  Extensive field research performed.
8. My birthday party.  A lot more happened between Matt's Birthday and mine, but I can't really remember what any of it was.  I have a feeling it involved me going skiing and going to school during the week, which was not all that sweet.  My birthday party was cool- Derek, Dunleavy, and Natalie all came so it was cool some of my out of town friends made it.  Not much progress made on twist off issue.
9. Ski Season ends/Easter.  I spent the weekend of Easter with my family in VT and also did my last weekend of skiing.  I have a feeling other people don't really get it, but this makes me sad and emotional.  Ski season means a lot to me-- makes life worth living, time spent with family and friends, memories of my dad.  Every year when it ends I sort of recognize my own mortality.  Twist off progess:  zip tied bottle opener to downstairs fridge extensively adopted by family and vistors.
10. Somewhere along the line here about the time exams are starting, I meet Wendy.  I fall in love.  Life seems to make more sense and I am not obsessed with productivity and the battle between the educated proletariat and the global capital machine.  I blog less, but my grades improve fairly dramatically.  Wendy opens my drinks for me.  Personal twist off progess:  dramatic.  World wide twist off progress: minimal.
11. Summer came to a close not too long ago and now I am back at school.  This year is perhaps the busiest I have faced so far, though I think I am far better equipped to handle it than I was first year, which I would say was most on par with this one.  I do not have a ton of time to drink beer, though I still go out on thursday nights and I'll have one or two if someone is offering.  For the time being I would have to say twist off madness remains a hot button issue with me, but I just don't have the time to focus on this project these days.

I would not say I have given up, but I have to live to fight another day.  Most of the time now if I feel like a beer, I'll have a Narragansett, which usually comes in a can.  Like a communist who eventually gets a job as an investment banker or a commercial real estate salesman- I am in conflict.  I ask myself questions such as, have I sold out? Have I given up?  What happened to my passion?  I guess the only reasonable answer is that sometimes we have to prioritize.  Most revolutionaries and philosophers do not see the fruition of their ideologies in their own lifetime.  As a single man, I cannot end the madness of the non-twist off, but the dream lives on.

If you still believe- end the non twist off madness.

Comments

[Mike from Styleforum]

Just do what I do- stick to mixed drinks and "the hard stuff". All twist offs, or a cork that pulls out.

[Wendy]

Bring on the Jamaican Bums, dear.

[Bill]

We may have lost the battle, but not the War!

Derek needs to integrate this sensitive issue into his campaign speech and champion this grassroots movement.

I have a dream!!!