Recently I have become overwhelmly addicted to sunflower seeds. I sit at my desk all day and try to nonchalantly spit the empty husks into a styrofoam cup. The whole process is much much harder than you probably think, as I have a high standard of decorum people expect from me so even if they do see my sunflower husks, they need to see them in a classy and intelligent light, which is of course challenging.
Eating sunflower seeds has several attractions for me:
1. I am never full yet I am never not full. It's as if I have achieved what those breatharian whackos are aiming for where I get all the nutrients I need just from breathing the air.
2. I look a baseball manager. Or at least I think I do. Chances are I do not, but it makes me feel less nerdy and a lot cooler and tough about looking at government contracts all day in a cube, so whatever works right?
3. Some people think I am "dipping". I know, two seconds ago I said I was aiming to NOT look like I am dipping, but so what- even if I DO, I still think that is pretty cool and it has the side effect of intimidating the other interns in my office...or grossing them out. Either way...
The only real problem I have run into is the decision between Planters brand and David Brand.
The advantage of the planters is that the seeds come in a resealable bag that does not have Derk Jeter on it. The downside is that occasionally there are tiny wooden things in the bag that are seemingly not seeds, which I am not totally crazy about. Also Planters only comes in original flavor, which can get boring when that flavor is in your mouth approximately 8 hours a day minus when you're drinking coffee. To recap: Positives: resealable bag, Jeter-free. Downsides: foreign objects, limited flavors.
David Brand is probably what people recognize and what I started off with eating recently. I stopped eating them and tried the planters for the obvious reason that I was tried of having Derek Jeter's evil gaze stare at all day on my desk. David seems less salty and the flavor is generally better than any other brands I've tried, plus they come in alternative flavors like BBQ and Jalepeno, which are obvious pluses. Also I have yet to find any foriegn objects with the frequency I've found them in the planters,. though I am sure I have consumed pounds of dried and roasted microscopic insect parts. My biggest gripe with the David seeds is that the bag is made from a flimsy material that rips too easily and is not resealable. To recap: Positives: Generally Foriegn object free, flavors. Downsides: Questionable bag material, Jeter.