Open Memo to Those Who Wear Fragrance in the Gym

Dear Person Who Wear Cologne or Perfume at the Gym,

Listen, I know you have the best of intentions. Perhaps you see a lot of cute guys/girls at the gym when you are working out and you think to yourself that what better place is there to meet in shape people than the gym- so why not smell your best? Maybe you are even worried that you have especially foul body odor or sweat too much when you work out.

Well on behalf of every sane person at the gym- it is not working. Lay off the perfume/cologne. First of all, you will not cover up anything or smell good if you wear some type of fragrance when you work out. It is analgous to the situation Joe Rogan described with people who try to cover nasty smells by burning a ton of scented candles instead of elimitating the source of the smell, "instead of smelling like ass, now it smells like candle and ass." It is the same with the cologne at the gym. Instead of smelling your sweat and b.o., we are now all forced to endure the nauseating combination of Aqui di Gio and unwashed wife beater that was at the bottom of gym bag, or Clinque Happy mixed with drenched sports bra. If this grosses you out- good- it should.

Do yourself and all of the rest of us a favor Fragrance in the gym wearer and just put an end to our choking on your foul fumes as we are forced to do the eliptical machine behind you.

Thanks,
Everyone Else at the Gym.

Comments

[Conor]

What about the guy that comes up and talks to you right out of the shower? If you can muster up the energy to speak to me, then muster up the energy to put some freakin clothes on as well.

[Bill]

The same goes at work. I hate having to walk down the hallway being stuck behind someone who showered in cologne or perfume before coming to work. I mean really, we're not here to pick anyone up, so lay off. Save it for going out with the guys or your girlfriends.

[J.P.]

Just to add to this, the girl who lives upstairs from us has this problem. I passed her on the way into the house the other night and it smelled like a french whore in the entire yard. Lay off the perfume.

[Adam]

The worst is having to ride an elevator with someone like that. It used to happen to me in the morning at work all the time this summer. It was made so much worse by the fact that I was generally fighting off a hangover, good lord did I have to stop myself from puking on them. I also have this really weird neurotic thing with smells...