Sanity Hearing

The Burlington Post

I should have posted about this a wicked long time ago.  But...I just never had time.

This post is in some ways a review, but more so it is a big thank you.

A few weeks ago my girlfriend Wendy informed me I should, "keep Sunday open," because she was planning to surprise me.  She did such a good job of taking care of the surprise element that she led me believe that on sunday night we would be going on a hay ride in Providence with some people that she/we know in Providence.

Then, on Friday night she arrived in Providence and since it was Halloween weekend she suggested we head to Target to buy some scary movies.  Once we neared the target though she asked if we could go to Sports Authority. 

Wanting to please the lovely Wendy I took her to Sports Authority where she told me she needed to, "buy some running pants."  However, in a shocking turn of events she told me that the surprise was that she had rented a car, reserved a room, and we were heading to Burlington, VT!  My response: So you don't need running pants?  Seriously though, I was shocked and thrilled.  For those of you not aware I love the state of Vermont.  LOVE.  So as a mid semester present to me she had decided we should head up to the biggest damn city in the best damn state of Vermont- Burlington.

Highlights:

the car we rented was a 2005 Passat:
This car was so sweet.  It made the drive to Burlington awesome and all I have to say is that a.  I want a Passat now and b.  Wendy-- you are awesome JUST for renting me this car.

We arrived in Burlington hours later after having an enjoyable morning drive and we hit up the Magic Hat Brewery while we waited for our room.  The brewery was extremely cool and I love their beer (fans: send me #9).  After that we went to the small guest house where we were going to stay.  The woman who ran the place had a daughter at New York Law, this of course ended in a barrage of annoying questions about whether I would be, "trying out for law review,"  or a clerkship, or moot court, or... however the woman was redeemed by the fact that she had the most  amazingly well behaved dog I have ever seen.  The room was extrememly comgfortable  and the bed was so nice I would move there right now.   Also this experience led Wendy and I realize our status as a "power-couple" by introducing ourselves as a law student and an investment banker.

That night we went out and checked out down town Burlington and had something to eat while we watched all of the locals and college students in entertaining halloween costumes.  Wendy can comment on some of the more funny costumes but one that sticks out in my mind was a guy wearing this big white role of styrofoam with a ribbon around the center who was a "bill" ala school house rock.  hilarious.

The next morning we walked along Lake Champlain.  There were ducks flying around and the water was a crystal clear that you rarely see.  The air was delightfully brisk.

On the way home, Wendy and I stopped at Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Factory for a tour.  The tour was a cool end to the trip.  I have always been curious about Ben and Jerry's and it the whole tour is really inspiring as a real average joe success story as well as an example of financial success while adhering to "Vermont" values. 

On the downside while we were at Ben and Jerry's there was this really annoying couple which consisted of a guy who looked like he wore ribbed fitted t-shirts and a woman who was well...idiotic.  As we left they were driving a Hummer with RI plates. 

I do not think I need to tell you much more about these people to prove my point.

In conclusion- Burlington was an awesome city.  I would love to move there because it was so pleasant, clean, and I love the climate. 

Finally:  To the person I owe this beautiful present, a beautiful woman:

Also- Wendy-- I love you-  thank you for an awesome surprise.

Exam Time Post II

Technically, it's not really good ol' exam time.  But for me-- it basically already is.  At this point I have already had:
- Group project due (equivelent of an exam)
-22 page research paper due

and then today I had my mock trial.  Basically I am about halfway through what I personally have to do to get out of this semester alive.  Thus, as far as I am concerned-- this is exam time baby.

So- here's the round up on the mock trial for my army of fans out there:

I woke up this morning in a panic at 8:00 and sat outside the barber shop for 45 minutes drinking coffee so I could cut off my hippy locks.  Got establishment style haircut, returned home and slapped on suit, tied perfect windsor knot, hopped in car, called Wendy for good luck wishes, listened to "Jesus Walks," arrived at law school.  Awaited trial.

Basically it went like this- I got up and gave an opening which lasted about 15 minutes or so which I can sum up for you like this:
Arthur Morris= Not Guilty
Changing stories
Bad Witnesses
Bad Police Work
NO FREAKIN EVIDENCE
NOT GUILTY GODDAMNIT

I even had a nifty powerpoint presentation.  Obviously the jury was blinded by my amazing use of technology.  I really can't sum the whole thing up for you because frankly I could hardly even tell you what was going on while I was doing it.  It was as if my instinct took over in a whirlwind of "Objections!" and pleas that Arthur Morris didn't do it.

The judge was a major in the  Marine Jag corp  who  winked at me and slapped one of the prosecution guys on the back so hard on the way out he said he could still feel it.  All and all it was one of those rare challenging but also fun moments in law school.  As I left I felt a stange sensation of being completely exhausted but a little bit higher on adreniline than at the average exam.

The funniest parts of the whole experience for me were standing up to object when I wasn't even sure why I was objecting.  There was a certain point where my classmate Mike was trying to introduce some evidence and I kept objecting figuring I would just keep doing so until I was overruled.  It was amusing to me because I left class a few people laughed and told me I was "mean," which I suppose is worth noting because I guess people were not expecting that.

At this point, fair readers, I am about half way out as I mentioned.  Two take home exams and a "title search" project left.  It's crazy because I feel like this semester just started.  At the same time, I feel this has probably been one the most busy, most challenging, most stressful semesters so far-- ironically all in the name of getting the hell out of law school.

Home for Break

Ode to Exam Time

Blood vessels pop
Oh god
Classes I wish I had foresight to drop

17 credits
What was I thinking
A year ago I lacked motivation
Now there is less talk and more action
Have I found the wellspring of legal zeal?

First year seems like last night
Torts, contracts, legal methods
At the end of the tunnel- I  could not see the light

Now the marathon is almost over
If I just don't hit the wall
and the bill collectors delay their calls
Part time jobs pay in cash
Don't mess with the mob
unless they forget about you for a few weeks

David Bowie said
We're under pressure
learning to defend criminals
Researching banking law
Mock Trials
Business proposals evaluated
title searches
Admin and admiralty- thank god you are take homes
Am I too dramatic?
This is ourselves under pressure

Gutoff brought beer to make up class
best professor ever
Wendy whisks me away to Burlington
best girlfrield ever

Lexis points now buy me iTunes songs
Now my efforts as a research assistant
Will earn me something other than 6 bucks an hour
Another 10 hours a week
filled with free music at least

Late night phone calls
I'll still be up for a few more hours
Better get to sleep though
Got to get up early- tommorrow will be another 12 hour day

I'd like to shoot whoever gave me this cold
Mom says coldeeze
My body says can we go to sleep

Coffee, oh sacred coffee
In delicate paper cups with pictures on the side
Green mountain, Coffee Exchange, Jazzman's,
made at home in french press
Staining the bottom of cups dirt black
Making my breath smell like a percolator
Are you sure you didn't have too much coffee today?
How many did you have
Relax- I am fine, am fine, am fine

Songs fill the air as bags form under the eyes
Still take time for the weekend
Gotta make the quality time
But more and more find I am behind
How much will be enough?

It has begun.

Open Letter to the Bostich Stapler in the Library

Dear Stapler in the Library,

On at least 4 or 5 occasions now I have run into you as I have run to the front of the library, usually with a foot thick stack of collated law review articles or maybe some copies I made for my part time job.  There I find you, nestled among the other paper binding and organization implements including the paper clips and the heavy duty stapler that sometimes jams and often stabs me.

At first, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.  I thought- maybe it's me, maybe I am not pressing hard enough.  So for a while I jammed you down to make staples with near steroid rage force.  However, this method proved ineffective.  You revolted against my aggression by jamming constantly and creating scrunched up deformed staples on one side of my pile of papers.

Although initially I thought the problem might be me, I have come to the conclusion that in fact- it's you.  You simply are incapable of functioning at any time and in any way when I need you to, only forming properly shaped staples when I test-staple you in the air.

I have to be honest, I hate you.  And for making me hate you, I hate you even more for reducing me to a real life "Milton" from Office Space as I demand that someone please replace you with a Swingline for crying out loud.  I contemplated hiding you in the research librarian's top drawer the other night around 11:00 when the library was nearly deserted, but I feared that this might violate some sort of obscure honor code rule that would end up with a messy and potentially hazardous public trial before my peers and the Iron Fist of Patrick Cullinan.

So for now Library Stapler, I am forced to use the stapler that is made for 50+ sheets of paper.  This option of course is unattractive at best since when I staple less than 20 sheets of paper together I get lovely metal points curling back through the top of the page and sometimes catching on my sweater or better yet puncturing my skin.

Now I realize how petty I must sound, complaining about a stapler.  Plus, I must seem foolish for not appreciating your Ikea-esque upright design, which I secretly believe contributes to your malfunctioning.  But the thing is, I just can't seem to get past the fact that the small fortune I pay to go to school here each year could have bought me a modest fleet of luxury automobiles by this point, yet the school seems to want to economize when it comes to something as absolutely vital to the functioning of a law school as a simple stapler.  I mean, I would certainly understand if this was for example center for the advancement and study  of telepathy and the need for stacks of loose leaf paper would obviously be frowned upon, but this is a law school.  I see people 12 hours a day failing to staple things together at the front counter of the library- obviously there is a need for this type of thing.

I am not sure what your deal is Bostich Stapler.  Maybe you were good once, maybe you worked like a charm back in the Clinton administration, but the bottom line is you are not doing your job any more and I cannot understand why you are still here-- do you have tenure or something?

Listen, if the school won't offer you some sort of generous buy out package for your time here, I suggest you make a run for it while you still have time.  Exams are coming and papers are due soon.  Law students can will reach the brink of sanity during this period and the chance of your  *accidentally* falling  into the toilet in the library bathroom is increasing daily.  I suggest you make a break for it while you still can.  I hear Mexico is lovely this time of year.

Also, I would appreciate it if you can take your friend the hole punch that can only punch through 5 sheets at a time. 

Hasta La Vista,
Anna Namousse
65 Hope Street
Bristol, RI